Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
