If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize