There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
