He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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