Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
