Its about making memories worth repressing
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
