where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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