so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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