Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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