i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
