making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
