Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
