yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
