it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
