I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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