lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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