so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
