hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
