So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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