your thong is hanging out like whoa
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
