I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
