My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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