Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
