So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
