Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
