why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
