I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize
