dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
