I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So many bounce houses so little time
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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