Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize