This girl is more easily done than said...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
