he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
