I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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