Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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