Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I am naked and annoyed.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
