If i come over, it means nothing
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
