I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
