Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
