He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
