we're blogging at a bar
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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