i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
