Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
