dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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