Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
accomplished twins. life is a go
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize