Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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