He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
