Fuck appropriateness.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
