It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
