Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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