I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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