playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize