how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
