theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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