my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
