it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
