Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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