Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
