Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
