Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
