So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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