I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
